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Can a Friend Legally Marry You in Australia? Exploring Celebrant Rules and Creative Ceremony Options

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Can a Friend Marry Me?

This is a common question celebrants are asked. It’s good to ask and wonder about things, and here’s the lowdown from my perspective, the possibilities, the limitations, and the “good to knows.”

So – can a friend marry me – the short answer?

No. (That’s very short, isn’t it?)
At least, not in Australia.
In Australia, you can only be legally wed by an authorized civil celebrant or a minister of religion.
So, unless you are getting married in a church, you will need to book a celebrant.

So – can a friend marry me – what’s the longer answer?

There are a few options or workarounds to this – but it doesn’t change the fact that you need to book a celebrant.

  1. You may have a friend (or a relative) who is also a celebrant. Nothing in Australian law prohibits this friend or relative from marrying you. An easy tick!
  2. You may have a friend who is willing to train to be a celebrant. However, the course and registration process can take 12 – 18 months, the person must be of “good standing” in the community and approved by the Commonwealth of Australia, and the cost of the Certificate IV training is probably greater than the cost of a celebrant. A not so easy tick.
  3. The Co-Pilot solution. You can book a celebrant to work with a friend and deliver the ceremony together. The celebrant must complete all the legal parts, and your friend can do the rest. A workable tick.

The “Good to Knows” about  friends becoming celebrants and co-piloting weddings


The Friend Who’s Agreed to Train As A Celebrant

Keep in mind that this is a big commitment for this person – and juggling all the study and practical requirements (yes, there are practical assessments of conducting ceremonies, etc.) on top of a day job may be challenging. This may lead to a blowout in time, meaning they aren’t qualified in time for your wedding date. There are also factors outside of your control that affect meeting this deadline, such as the turnaround time frame on assignments and government registration.

The second thing to consider is that it is likely that your ceremony will be your friend’s first wedding. The risks with this are fairly obvious – it’s not likely to be their best work, and there may be issues or unexpected stressors with the legalities. Something for you to weigh up in your choices.

The Co-Pilot Solution

Often, people like this idea for two reasons. One – they’d love to have someone who is special to them marrying them, and secondly – it’s thought to be a cheaper option. The first is a lovely thought, but the second has implications you should know.

Firstly – it’s not necessarily cheaper. This is because the majority of the fee you pay a celebrant is not for the time spent “doing things” in a ceremony. You’re paying for their expertise in the planning and preparation in the lead-up to the wedding, and of course, the processing of the legalities. A co-pilot will need support and advice in how to create a ceremony, and the components within it, how to deliver it, etc. Think of the celebrant as needing to be a mentor. (And the end quality of the ceremony is a reflection on their business too). It’s often as much work (if not more) for the celebrant as there is one more person to communicate and collaborate with. Plus, on the day – whether they are speaking or not, they are still devoting that time to your wedding.

It can be difficult to find a celebrant willing to Co-Pilot – for two reasons:

  1. As mentioned above – if you are wanting a cheaper price – it’s usually not worth it for the celebrant – as the workload is almost identical.
  2. And if you do find a celebrant offering this option at a reduced rate, most will not want to do so on a Saturday in peak wedding season, as they are foregoing a full paying wedding – so be prepared to do this in quieter months or on a different day.

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Summary

So, a friend who isn’t trained as a celebrant can’t marry you, but they can participate in your ceremony alongside a celebrant
And there you have it – the long and short of having a friend marry you, and some things to think about in terms of options.

If you have any questions, I’m always happy to hear from you.

 

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Hi, I’m 

Celebrant, MC, Author and architect of unforgettable weddings

Love Celebrations by Lisa
A Wedding Like No Other
205/19 Holdfast Promenade
GLENELG SA 5045